[This is the transcript of the interview and the details are provided for clarity:]
Patrick: Well hello there. How are you?
Pinhead: I'm ok.
Patrick: So tell me, how did you meet April's owner exactly?
Pinhead: Well I met her in the year 2000, right at the beginning of the new millennium so our bowling league had a big practice to celebrate this once in a lifetime occasion. You are too young to remember the new millennium beginning and all of the celebrations.
Patrick: I am, but I am aware of the 2YK and some of the panic there was regarding computers, technology and how the turn of the century would turn. But everything turned out ok thank god.When did you start your bowling career?
Pinhead: I started my career in the year 1975,funny because that's the year April's owner was born. I worked my way from a gutter ball punk to the kingpin you know today. Kingpin is my favorite movie also. I also started joining bowling leagues when I was 16 and practicing, because they say practice makes perfect. It took a few years to improve my performance and getting connecting with the various leagues and establishing myself as a bowler.
Patrick: When would you say was the peak of your career as a bowling star?
Pinhead: I would say beginning in the mid 80s, that was when my career as a professional bowler starting really taking off. I was getting strikes left and right for 2 decades after that.
Patrick: How many leagues were you part of during your 35 year career?
Pinhead: I was with 12 bowling leagues during the span of my career. However only 3 are still left.
The other leagues became obsolete after changes in leadership changed how the leagues were to be managed and now a few knock-offs are in their place founded by former league members of those leagues. Those members did not like where the management was taking the leagues so once membership fell, they had to discontinue them.
Patrick: How many awards have you gotten?
Pinhead: 25.
Patrick: Wow that's a lot. Were they all trophies or all kinds of rewards of sorts?
Pinhead: About all of them are trophies. I got a shelf at my house full of them. They range from small to large so I have to think about how to display them all in the same place, which was not an easy task.
Patrick: Could you tell me any more details about when you met April's owner?
Pinhead: Yes, it was at a bowling league and I just joined her league. Keep in mind that this was one of my last leagues before my retirement. We were about to win our tournament and she saw me about to do my signature Pinhead Sam Strike. And I said "Striiiike" and led us to victory. And she was the second best player we had on our league so we both won a prize. She got a silly slammer that looks like me and I got the cash award, which was $4,000.
Patrick: That sounds like quite a bit of money. Did you put in the bank? It seems like you truly had it made back in the day.
Pinhead: What are you, a pinhead? Of course I did.
Patrick: What advice would you give to anyone who wants to have a professional bowling career?
Pinhead: I am glad you ask that question. It's a really good question. The first thing I would say is to keep practicing and improve your scores. You know those triangles on the lanes? When you bowl, concentrate on them, they help the ball navigate to the pins. Always aim for the center of the lane and there's a good chance if you bowl the ball fast enough, it will hit all the pins and you got yourself a strike. Other times, you will most likely get a spare. And as for joining a league, you should acquaint yourself with other bowlers and then join a beginner's league and then work your way up to a professional league where you can win cash prizes.
Patrick: So how long have you known April's owner?
Pinhead: 19 years. And April for 11 years.
Patrick: I hear April loves toys especially stuffed animals. Ask Figment about the first time he met her. Are you ever worried that, as a silly slammer, she might shred you up and scatter the stuffing across the house? I know this interview sounds extremely strange to anyone who doesn't really know you and people might think it's weird that I'm actually setting aside time to have an interview with a Silly Slammer soon to be dog toy. Your a toy. A toy. I mean now this is something not many bloggers have the opportunity to do something like this. Except when Tim Allen and Tom Hanks are in character for Toy Story. What's your say about April the dog toy destroyer?
Pinhead: Anything goes I guess. I mean if April ever does get ahold of me, it's not really anyone's problem anymore. I already had my career and made my money so I don't really think about it one way or another. At least I get to be interviewed.
Patrick: Now just hold a minute. Your the silly slammer that April's owner won at the tournament. Now this is just ridiculous. Your going to make me look like a fool to all my audience who reads my articles and when they see this they are going to think this is a big joke. What do you have to say for yourself?
Pinhead: I just said everything I needed to. We may as well just wrap up the interview since I told you everything you need to know.
Patrick: Well thanks for taking the time to do this interview.
Pinhead: Not a problem.
[The transcript ends here.]
The interview was well quite interesting you could say. In the end it turned out Pinhead Sam was the silly slammer and wanted his 15 minutes of fame and to make Patrick look foolish. However the following week, April's owner found the talking silly slammer shredded up around her house and stuffing everywhere and she had to clean the house. Patrick later told her he interviewed a dog toy. The now chewed up dog toy was tossed in the trash and Patrick fortunately wrote down the interview and posted it on here.
Note: This interview was entirely fictional. Patrick does not nor has ever had an interview with silly slammers or dog toys. This was basically creative writing and Pinhead Sam's backstory is fictional and is meant to be humorous. Fortunately Patrick does not talk to toys and just wanted to create a really interesting blog. That entire interview was written by Patrick including Pinhead Sam's backstory. He will be posting more on his own blog, The Patrick S Blog.
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