Laser Tag: Abitron's Obession

The look Abitron gives when she sees a laser

Abigail strikes back and is at it again. 

It may or may not be a well-known fact that Abigail loves lasers and we mean really loves lasers (maybe loves them as much as Patrick loves Mexico.). We could say she really really loves lasers and laser pointers. She also gives this look when she sees lizards outside. If she had her way, she would have laser vision so she can them around. Her obsession with lasers began thanks to Patrick, who would bring one over for her to chase the light. 

Other things can include sunlight reflecting off mirrors, disco balls, and flashing graphics on TV ( this includes the Silver Shamrock pumpkin graphic used for the 7pm Halloween Giveaway from Halloween 3). Abigail would really have a good time at the Imagination Pavilion at Epcot, where they have fast moving graphics.  April would love the pavilion only for the gift shop because of all of the stuffed Figments. Let's face it: April the Toy Destroyer loves to shred toys and Abigail Laser Eyes loves to chase bright lights. This combined is just a recipe for disaster. 

 This look Abigail is giving is when a dog knows you got them a new toy or when your having dinner and the dog just sits there and begs with these animated eyes. Rocco also has this look when someone has marshmallows or when you have a stuffed animal around April and Teddy the Toy Destroyers and they want you to give them the toy so they can shred it.  It's like Sid from Toy Story but dogs.  With Abigail, if you want to not just watch the world burn, but rather participate, just point the laser at what you want and let the fun begin. Not much can stop her when she's chasing the light and only the laser pointer user can decide whether or not to keep pointing it at things. 

But keep in mind that Patrick no longer has his laser pointer and only that either Abigail's owner, or a Barkly Times reader who knows Abigail's obsession would probably take matters into their own hands and attempt to make the Barkly Times Lights Party a reality. (It is not encouraged, unless you want to be responsible for cleaning up the mess she makes from knocking stuff over and face the music.) In addition, this Lights Party, if ever done,  would not be done by Patrick, but rather a reader who is doing it on his behalf and either, ignored the warning in parentheses, or just wants to start something awesome(No). This time of year, due to it being Halloween, there will quite a good number of strobe lights and flashing lights, so Abigail should stay home from Halloween. But this is the least of Abigail's owner's concerns, because a Lights Party could come from the TV. 

This Halloween, Silver Shamrock will be having a 7pm giveaway on Halloween night nationwide and there will be a flashing sequence at the end. However how Abigail will respond is unknown and only time will tell. Silver Shamrock also encourages you to buy their masks and watch the giveaway. Turn on the the TV, put on your masks (or not), and maybe you might be the winner of the Giveaway.  The prize was not told to us at the Barkly Times, but we could assume something like a limited edition novelty item from Silver Shamrock. One more thing, be sure  to watch either Channel 2 or 4 (or local variation) on Halloween night at 7pm (All US time zones) so you don't miss out on the giveaway. 

Note: Silver Shamrock is a fictional company movie from the 1982 movie Halloween 3: Season of the Witch and no such giveaway will be occurring and is a purely fictional event.  We are just getting into the Halloween spirit and trying to have some fun with tricks. That is all. However if Halloween 3 is on TV, and Abigail happens to see it, please write to us so we can make an update article. 

Garfield Wannabes

Not sure who's really in charge here, Abigail or the cat. 
Abigail is back and this time she is under the control of the family cat, Chloe, who may actually run the show. So who is this mysterious cat on top of the chair in the picture? Well your about to find out. 

Tabby cat Chloe has quite a bit of an interesting backstory. She actually live at the house before either April or Abigail, so she was there first. They just came later on and think they are the heads of the house. Well think again. Wrong.  Wrong by over 9000 levels. Chloe is the real mastermind in power and it took Patrick 12 years to figure that out. And now this article is being written. 

Even though they may live together, Chloe and Abigail don't always get along, especially over things like who gets to chase the red dot coming from Patrick's laser pointer. At other times they can reach a compromise, like here with the chair. This compromise only happens once every 9000 years. We all know that there's only one way to settle this: put a disco ball in the living room and see who can catch the most lights in least amount of time. They both love lights like lasers and disco balls or flashing lights on the TV screen. 

Meanwhile all April has to do is sit back and enjoy the show. But we will truly get the last laugh at what the house will look like after a Barkly-Times "Approved" lights Halloween party, with all said things going at once. Meanwhile their owners will have to watch the world burn. 

Floor-pop

Please don't lick the floor. It's not a lollipop and I just cleaned it 10 minutes ago. Can we keep it clean?

Bichon Rasta here can be seen helping himself to the floor like it's dessert or something. He can be seen here licking it like a lollipop. No one knows why he's licking that floor, but it must be really tasty. Apparently marble-flavored tile is a hit with dogs these days.  Maybe he's trying to copy the hard knock life from Annie by cleaning the floor when in reality he's just making a bigger mess.  

It could be assumed that it can be embarrassing when his owners invite friends or family over and there he is licking the floor like he just bought a lollipop from a candy shop living a "dream". In reality everyone is staring at him because he's wearing out the floor and his owners will have to pay over 9,000 to replace his dessert , correction, their flooring. His owners visitors then rush out the door and try to run away as fast and as far away from the "Marble Tile Licker" as soon as possible. Apparently this dog really likes anything that tastes like marble or tile and to him both of these in one combination is his favorite food. Lol what. It's not food and people actually spend their hard-earned cash  on decent flooring that will actually last for a long time and be high quality and here comes Rasta who will find a way to change that.

Oh that sweet delicious tile so good to eat. Makes us want to lick the floor and join Rasta in the fun.   We should make the tile floor so clean at our headquarters so we can lick the floor too. We want some marble flavored tile for dessert. However the only problem is that the employees (lol what employees, only one person works for the Barkly Times part time and for free, partly why the blog isn't always updated weekly)  know better than to attempt to try this "dessert". What do we say to marble flavored tile? No thanks , we'll just stick to our usual cookies and cream and vanilla ice cream.